5 Things About Being a Beginner

Inspiration from Baby's First Banjo Lessons

I started banjo lessons last week. I started banjo lessons because, at some point in my twenties, I fell in love with the sound of the banjo and resolved that I would one day learn to play. As someone with very little musical aptitude and pitiful hand-eye coordination, I did not realize how challenging of an endeavor learning to play the banjo might be, but the lessons are held down the street and the price is right and I felt like it could be nice to have a hobby that is not reading or running or writing or cooking. And so here we are.

It’s been two weeks and here’s five things I am learning about being a beginner:

#1: Being bad as a beginner is not bad. It’s just reality.

It’s been a while since I tried doing something I am truly awful at. But there’s something very liberating about the realization that being very bad at the banjo is truly just part of being a beginner. When I first graduated from college, I used to joke that I was a baby adult. But in many ways, I was a beginner at navigating post-grad life, and therefore, I had times where I was really bad at it. I paid my taxes late. I left a gas burner on and had to call the fire department. I bleached my hair! I was but a wee lass. It’s been a while since I remembered that starting something new comes with growing pains. And those pains are normal and necessary.

#2: Embarrassment is a choice.

In case you haven’t properly reckoned with this point yet: I am bad at the banjo. And so when I turn up to lessons with a literal professional musician, I have to remind myself that to be embarrassed in front of my teacher is a choice. Another choice is to view the whole experience with more grace for myself and more generosity for my teacher. He probably doesn’t hate me more than anyone he’s met in his entire life because I am bad at the banjo!

When you start something new and/or do something out of your comfort zone there’s always the possibility that you will absolutely flop. While it can be embarrassing to flop, the embarrassment subsides quite quickly and the temporary discomfort of the moment becomes a distant memory. And at the risk of repeating myself, being bad while learning some new isn’t something to be embarrassed or ashamed of. It just is how it goes! Show shame the door.

#3: Channelling your inner child helps.

I know it’s all the rage these days to talk about reconnecting with your inner child. But hear me out: I think some of this talk can actually be quite helpful advice and not just a bunch of hooey that you hear on TikTok. For me, being a beginner has meant reconnecting with the younger version of Grace who was unencumbered with the relentless determination to succeed. As a kid, I loved making crappy crafts and playing songs poorly on the piano and participating in the alto section of the 5th grade show choir while wearing a white cotton turtleneck and dress pants from JCPenney’s. As adults, I think we lose our childlike capacity for curiosity, but also our childlike capacity to just do things because they’re fun, even if we look silly.

#4: Stay in it.

This one sort of relates to #2, but when you’re at the start of something new and it’s just so awkward and you’re not making much progress yet and you feel like it’s all maybe a huge waste of time…just try to stay in it a bit longer. I share this point having practiced my own advice in past experiences (mostly with my running), but also because I need to hear it again in this new experience. As we get older, it becomes more and more challenging to challenge ourselves outside of our comfort zones. I think about my grandma, who, in her early nineties, decided to enroll in German lessons because one of my cousins was marrying a German man. Talk about a person who is committing to staying in it—I love that my grandma challenged herself to try something new and challenging because she had the perspective that what little or lot she would learn would be worth it to both her and to others.

#5: Remember why you started.

As I’ve started banjo lessons, I have been listening to the music of some of my favorite banjo players again to remind myself why I love this instrument and why I wanted to learn it for myself. In college, I fell deeply in love with folk and bluegrass music, and I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that a lot of my life trajectory can be traced back to some choices I made that were formed out of the philosophy I had around music and beauty and creative expression that came out of that time in my life. And so when I feel discouraged that my brain and right thumb won’t quite connect how I’d like them to, I remember that I am a 30-year-old beginner, investing my time to learn an instrument I can play for many years to come.

Substack friends: what are you a beginner at? Do you have any things you’ve learned along the way as well? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Cheering you on, one off-beat clap at a time!